Guidelines to Announcing Your Pregnancy
Congratulations! You’re expecting! Now the question becomes, when do you share your excitement? How long do you keep this big news a secret?
Seeing the second line appear on a pregnancy test is one of the most emotional moments in a woman's life. If you've been planning on growing your family, this news can be hard to contain. Yet, the threat of miscarriage or other heartbreaking complications early in the pregnancy hold you back. You become caught between sharing your excitement with the world or keeping it to yourself for a little while. So, when is the right time to come out of the pregnancy closet?
The answer is not so black and white. I've broken down the rules I follow as a general guide when deciding who to tell and when.
If The Worst Should Happen:
This rule is one you may have heard before. That's because it makes the most sense. Hiding a pregnancy from your mother doesn't make sense if your mom is who you would want around should you lose the pregnancy. It may sound morbid thinking that way, but after all, isn't that why we wait to announce in the first place? Who is your support system? Who would you want to lean on to get you through a loss? The friends and family you would turn to are the very people you should tell without reservation. You will find this rule of thumb plays a consistent part in all the other guidelines I have listed below.
If I See You I Tell You:
I've never been good at hanging around a group of friends and not saying anything. For that reason, my husband and I created the rule of thumb: anyone we see in the first trimester must be close enough to fall under the first If The Worst Should Happen guideline anyway. Also this way, you avoid having to dodge drinking situations or hiding suspicious symptoms. Secrets are hard to keep from those we see frequently. This rule is an easy way to make all of that more comfortable.
The Work-Family Rule:
This one I've found to be tricky. When do you share with your work? The answer will heavily depend on a few different factors. First, how close you are to your coworkers. Are they like family to you? Do you come to work each day and talk about your life with one another? In this case, it might be harder to keep a big life-changing secret like this from them. And really, why would you want to (referring once again to the If The Worst Should Happen rule)? The second factor may be how strenuous your job is physically and if your pregnancy symptoms are getting in the way. It goes without say, running to the bathroom every few hours might raise some suspicions. We spend a good majority of our time around our coworkers. If it's easier for them to know than to keep your symptoms secret, you can relieve a lot of stress by just letting them in the loop.
Finally, I will once more bring up the If The Worst Should Happen rule. Suppose you are going through something as heartbreaking as a loss of a pregnancy. Would you want your coworkers to know what you're going through? Or would you prefer to grieve that loss in private? This scenario would be a significant deciding factor when sharing with your workplace.
The Big Announcement:
Finally, the moment you've been waiting for: That glorious turning point when you can be open about your pregnancy and no longer feel the pressure to keep it secret. Typically, this comes after the 12-week mark when your chances of a miscarriage are significantly lower. Some never see the need to announce their pregnancy publicly. Personally, I want to shout it from the social media rooftops. But before you do, take a moment to consider all close friends and family who maybe you haven't seen in the past 12 weeks. Do all of these people know? Plenty of distant relatives you may not immediately think of could be upset learning such news from Facebook. When in doubt, it's always a safe bet to call everyone close who doesn't know yet and give them the news in person. Once that's taken care of, go take a cute picture and post away!
When searching for answers to this conflicting question, you'll often find titles telling you when you "should" announce your big news. I never found those articles too inviting. Who is anyone else to say when I "should" or "shouldn't" announce my big news? Ultimately, you're going to do what feels best for you. I've kept a pregnancy announcement tucked away from some people for weeks, waiting to feel ready. Others, I've blurted it out without any thought. It sometimes is a simple as what feels most comfortable. But in a time of high emotions (and hormones), making decisions can be complicated. Hopefully, these guidelines can help you decided when the time is right for you.
As for me, the right time for a public announcement of my second pregnancy is now!
