Four Life Lessons From Older Generations

Growing up, we hear phrases and mantras all the time from the grown-ups around us. It may not make a lot of sense to us when we're young, but as we grow older, these life lessons start to sink in. We realize what those words of experience might have been trying to teach us all along. As I venture into my third decade of life, I continue to grow and learn. The following are a few that have been ringing in my ears as I navigate adulthood. 

1. Someone will always be better than you:

There will always be someone prettier than you, faster than you, more intelligent than you, more fashionable than you, etc. Not exactly the motivational pep talk you'd expect to have passed down the maternal line in the family. My mother heard this from her mother, and she repeated it to me. Since then, it has helped ease a lot of pressure on myself. As women, we tend to be unnecessarily hard on ourselves. This phrase is not meant to put anyone down but rather to encourage you to stop competing with everyone else in the world and focus on yourself. If you are going to compete with anyone, compete with yourself. Someone will always be more intelligent than you, but can you make yourself smarter today than the yesterday version of you? If you are comparing your figure to another mother's figure, stop. Someone will always be skinnier than you. Most likely, that other woman has a faster metabolism and will naturally lose weight without working as hard as you are. You never know. All you can do is strive to be the best possible version of yourself and let go of trying to keep up with everyone else. 

2. When the work is done, you die:

Was this a bit morbid of my grandfather? It sure does sound that way at first. But let's look a little deeper. This phrase, to me, can be taken two ways. Each as important as the next

First, the literal "work." How many of you have stayed past work hours or taken work home because it has to be done? This phrase is here as a reminder your work in life will never be "done." When work is done, you are done. Work will always be there waiting for you the following day, but your family is growing and evolving constantly. When the clock strikes, "quitting time," put it down and switch into family time. You will drive yourself crazy trying to get all the work done when really, there will just be more work. Your work is "done" when you die. 

Second, the figurative "work" on yourself. I see this as an extension of the first piece of advice from my grandmother. We should constantly be working on ourselves. That does not mean driving ourselves crazy to be the best. As this phrase says, if you were done working on yourself, you would be dead. We strive to be the perfect human being, but the work on ourselves will never be done. Maturing is about improving ourselves in any area that needs it. 

3. Stay in your lane:

This phrase was one I heard later in life. Although I was well into my young adulthood when I first heard it, the meaning resonated with me, and it is one that frequently pops into my head as a reminder to mind my own business. Everyone will live the life they feel is best for them. The older we get and the more we experience, the harder it becomes to not impose our experience on others. If somebody comes to you and asks for your advice on the matter, let it loose! However, if there was no invitation for your opinion- stay in your lane. Their life is not your life.

That being said, there is a time and place to speak up. If the concerns you have are harming themselves or someone else, there are ways to approach the matter. Sometimes with might suffice to say your peace and leave it at that. (Harping on a subject will only make the person you care about resent you.) Remind yourself that you tried to warn of the situation, and either one of two things will happen: Either the outcome you predicted will happen, in which case they know you "told them so," and you do not need to point it out. Or (hopefully) the outcome will not happen, in which case you will have only been annoying them for nothing.

Anytime you find yourself wanting to impose your knowledge on someone else's life, you can either say your piece and leave it at that or wait to be asked for your advice. Either way, always remember to stay in your lane. 

4. We are each born with a treasure box of talents:

I have a vivid memory of when I was young (probably around ten years old). I found a clay figure of a black cat sitting next to a pumpkin. I had painted it at a fall festival a few years prior. I remember admiring the paint job and expressing to my mom my surprise that I had done such an excellent job on it. My mom, always being more aware of my struggles than I was, picked up on this hint of low self-esteem. She stopped unpacking the Halloween decorations and sat down with me and the painted figurine. She created an analogy that our talents are like treasures. Each one of us is born with a treasure box. What is inside the treasure box is different for everyone. They are our own personal talents.

My vivid memory fades from there, but the overall message remains. We each have our own unique collection of talents. As we grow and nurture those talents, we find ourselves in our respective fields. Rejoicing in our own talents and using them to create is what brings us to fulfillment. However, if we refuse to believe we are talented, we shut out our talents and deprive ourselves and those around us that happiness.

Likewise, someone else might have a talent in their treasure box that is not in ours. We can build up a skill to match that talent if it is truly our desire, but this will take more hard work and dedication than the natural talents we have in our own treasure box. It will not do us any good to become frustrated that it might not come as easy to us as it does to someone else. 

Find your grandparents or someone of age

Pay some respects for the path that they paved

To life, they were dedicated

Now, that should be celebrated

-Twenty One Pilots, Neon Gravestones

Finally, I leave you all with one fundamental lesson we can learn from all older generations. They chose life. When their path took a turn for the worst or faced an uphill battle, they did not give up. They were devoted to the life they were living. That is a beautiful thing.