Don’t Blink: These Moments Are For You
Who else struggles to stay in the moment? I will be the first to admit this is something I am constantly working on improving. We look forward to weekends and summer. We look back on fond memories and sometimes on mistakes. We look forward, and we look backward but do we live in the now?
I also find the more modern distraction of our generation is social media and all the devices around us.
They say life passes in a blink of an eye, so don’t blink. To do this, we have to spend time noticing our own metaphorical blinks.
Blinking behind the camera
Whenever anything exciting or new is happening, how many of us reach for our phone? We want to capture the moment rather than enjoying it. We are so programmed to share all these special moments either with social media or with other family members. Maybe even to look back on later. Whatever the reason, capturing the moment means it will only ever be viewed in the past tense. Some moments are best enjoyed in the present. I learned this lesson when my son was an infant. He smiled at me while I was changing his clothes, and out of nowhere, he gave his first unmistakable chuckle. It was the sweetest, most exciting thing I’ve heard out of him to date, and I was so happy my first instinct was to grab my phone and catch it again in a video so I could show everyone that he’s laughing. Sadly, I did just that. And as soon as I put the phone in his face, his sparkling eyes moved off me and fixated on the phone. His smile was gone, and he didn’t laugh again despite my best efforts of recreating whatever it was that made him laugh in the first place. That’s when I realized what I’ve become. That chuckle he gave me was for me. And nobody else in the world would have appreciated it more than me. Why did I spoil the moment trying to capture it on my phone? I realized that some of the little moments our babies give us are just for us. We need to live in these moments and not the ones captured on our phones.
Blinking in ignorance
One evening after dinner, my son, husband, and I were all sitting on the couch together snuggled under one blanket. We weren’t doing anything special, just being together and talking. I had my phone in my hand and for a moment thought we should FaceTime other family members. I started to raise my phone when suddenly, somehow, the thought of calling someone else into our moment felt invasive and wrong. There was no particular reason to call anyone, only that we weren’t doing anything. But we were! We were having a nuclear family moment. It is undeniably important to spend time with your parents and siblings as a family, but it is equally if not more crucial to spend quality time with just the little family you are growing. Snuggled together on the couch under one blanket might not feel like you’re doing anything at the time, but if you live in that moment, you might feel differently.
Blinking from boredom
I have (on more occasions than I care to admit) caught myself scrolling aimlessly through my phone while sitting on the couch snuggling with my son watching the same movie for the 800th time. I find that whatever I’m scrolling through is nowhere near as important as what I have snuggled up against me. And when I don’t have time to sit with him like that, I miss it. So why am I not enjoying these moments now? Put the phone down and enjoy where you are right at this moment. Nothing on that device will give you the joy you can get by breathing him in and listening to what he’s telling you.
All of these things and more are mistakes I’ve made. They are how I metaphorically blink through time. I’m sure I will continue to do these things at times. I am not proud of them, but I know I’m not alone. And I’m positive everyone has their own unique blinks. We have so many distractions today but noticing our moment of weakness is the first step. It will take practice to be present. In the end, when these moments become memories, they will be more vivid if we keep our eyes open.