The Best Relationship Advice
Sometimes inspirational quotes come from the voice of a well-polished public figure, or out of advice from a loved one, but sometimes they come in the most surprising form.
My best bit of relationship advice came from a drunken homeless-looking man at a gas station. Not exactly the type of person you’d expect to have quality insight on marriage. This man somehow struck up a conversation with my now husband as he was pumping gas, and I was waiting in the car. Before I knew what was happening, I was being introduced to the man. When he heard we were engaged, he said to us, “date with your eyes wide open; marry with your eyes half shut.”
I thought it was a catchy phrase, but the message didn’t immediately click. Once we were married, I realized how right the stranger was.
Date With Your Eyes Wide Open
(County Cork, Ireland )
When you're dating someone, become aware of everything about this person. Now is the time to nitpick. Make sure to learn your partner inside and out, flip over every rock, uncover any potential roadblocks, and decide now if this is something you can accept or is it a deal-breaker. So let's be real. Many people like to consider themselves picky when it comes to choosing a partner, but are you really? All too often, we let things slide, thinking, "things will be different when we're married." It won't. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it can also bring out the worst in people. Take any two people with different lifestyles, put them under one roof, and watch how they get along. That is marriage. Date with your eyes wide open so that when it comes down to figuring out how to mesh lifestyles, there are no surprises. Date with your eyes wide open the same way you would thoroughly read a contract before signing because that's precisely what you're doing when you get married.
Marry With Your Eyes Half Shut
When you commit your life to someone in front of God, you are vowing to take them as they are. The whole person. You aren't just marrying the dressed up smiley version of a person standing at the altar with you. You're marrying all their faults and weaknesses too. This dedication is what it means to love someone truly. Once we have made that "for better or for worse" promise is the time to turn a blind eye to all the things that drive us crazy about that person. And I don't mean crazy in a good way. I'm talking about the crazy that makes you want to hurt them. Come on, we all feel that way from time to time. Those are the qualities that were there all along during the dating processes. We took on those qualities in a contract with God. I don't know if you're aware of this, but God doesn't break contracts. Marry with your eyes half shut because those little annoyances don't matter anymore.
"Quirks," "habits," "annoyances," whatever you want to call them, they can not merely be overlooked. You have to be able to accept them and love them as part of the person you married. I share this advice to open the eyes of new couples. Because not often do newlyweds truly know what they're promising when they first say their vows to one another. "For better or for worse," "in sickness and in health," and the kicker: "till death do us part."